2014? - Lightness & Trust

While my whole being screams for sleep and sanity, I tweak and twiddle in a frenzy of mock-genius. Yet somehow I manage to turn layer upon layer of voice, autharp, clarinet and even drums into a true Sinterklaas present for my family: a mini folk festival. At the ashram I share some true Sinterklaas spiced cookies and frantic dice rolling. But as soon as Sinterklaas is off to Spain, I crash big time. It is almost reassuring to know I still have it in me to hit rock bottom this hard.

I clamber out of bed when I feel slightly alive again. My tears have all dried up and the scratches on my arms and legs will heal. As a reward, I get to join Mie on the 13th to celebrate Santa Lucia. Dressed all in white I follow her into the temple, holding a candle, practicing my best Danish on a sweet song.

The month ends in an abundance of space and light: Solstice bonfire in the snow, 5 Rhythms Dance, jolly outbursts of song & dance, watching the highly ashram-inappropriate Cloud Atlas, playing Citadels after hours, making Divine Mothers out of clay, laughing, skinny dipping in the freezing lake, teaching Kundalini Yoga 3HO style, sharing gifts of the heart, bedtime conversations, music, empowering ritual on the beach, snow, snow, snow, cuddles and candles and chanting in the Temple into the New Year. Slightly exhausting yet highly satisfying. 

2014? - Lightness & trust.