And I sing

I love the snow. I love its pure whiteness. I love how it covers everything in a blanket of muffled sound. I love how it is crisp under my boots. I love how I can bury myself in it. But truth be told, enough is enough. Hibernation is not meant to last. The butterflies I followed to the ashram, have all disappeared. I am awaiting new directions.

In the dark winter months, my mind has grown darker, following old patterns of  fear. Crossing the half time mark of my stay here, my mind starts to project beyond the ashram. Telling me I have not invested in security,  I have not invested in economic stability. Having burned my bridges, I have to start from scratch. Afraid, I bury myself a little deeper, distancing myself from the world.

But when the sun comes out, and the snow melts, I start to remember. How could I forget the pure beauty of the lake and mountains? How could I forget strength and support? How could I forget that tiny seeds grow into nourishing plants? For I have invested in my self. In my own truth, my own strength, my own wisdom, my own joy. The seeds I have planted here, will grow a lifetime.They might not be visible. I am not peace itself, I cannot levitate, my emotions can be a bumpy ride. But I try again every day.

And I sing.