Yoga Nijn: Garden Spa

All people have internet, and yes that's where they found us. Still they call the ashram, thinking we are a spa. They come in, wanting to sign up for the massage. They leave disappointed, after doing tons of dishes with no scantily-clad yoga instructor in sight. Clearly, karma yoga is just another word for torture, ashram another word for hell.

Just when I think we should include a big flashing sign on our website saying: No Spa! Modest Clothing! 100% Celibate Community! Work all Day & You have to Pay! I realise the huge potential for our ashram being a total spa. A Garden Spa.

Come to our community to enjoy our hoophouse sauna (a must for tomato lovers). Have your feet pecked clean by our baby chicks (fish treatments are sooo 2012). Get splashed with water while filling up the watering cans (add fish fertilizer for a tantalizing body odour you won't forget). Immerse yourself in the healing powers of the compostpile (authentic smell & texture). Discover nature by dipping into our freezing cold lake (pebble foot massage included).

But this might attract too many people. I like the ashram as it is. And people that are looking for something else, will realize that sooner or later. And that in itself, is valuable too.